Downloadapalooza Vol. 1: Briscoe vs. Briscoe, Honda vs. Kobashi, Low Ki vs. Danielson

So looking over my downloads, I realized something; I could do one hell of a review with what I’ve got. I mean, I haven’t done very many that aren’t total shows, but putting together several matches out of every promotion I could get, I figured what the hell. So I’ll show my gratitude by reviewing downloaded matches that were said to be great, but often times I have a different opinion than most, so we’ll see how shit ends up.

Title vs. Mask for IC Title: Chris Jericho © vs. Rey Mysterio

From The Bash 2009. These two had a dandy of a feud in 2009, during Smackdown’s total-fucking-radness phase. Jericho was what he’d always been; the best in the effing world, and Rey Mysterio shut up a lot of doubters with his awesome performances in these matches. I’m one of those guys who supports Rey-Rey no matter what he does. His knees are stale hamburgers, sure, but he still has a great grasp of character psychology and can always get the crowd behind him. Jericho had become the best character in wrestling, using big-ass words like troglodyte (go ahead and say it multiple times…I’ll wait) and just shitting on the crowd in sophisticated ways. He was over as a heel, and everyone loves Rey Mysterio (if you’re a mark that is) so add the greatly divided lines with two spectacular workers, and you have a supposed top three MOTYC. Will I think the same? You’re intrigued.

Rey comes out looking like a zebra. Because of course he does, he’s Rey goddamn Mysterio. And Chris Jericho comes out being a quiet, non-Y2J dude like he had been. You can already tell this shall rule. JR and Todd Grisham, one of the more underrated announce teams in the past couple years, are on commentary for this one. I FUCKING MISS JR. Michael Cole is a doucheface of the highest order and I want him to leave. Yes, even worse than Hermie, but even then, Hermie’s better with Nigel at the desk with him.

We start with a tie up. Jericho targets the mask early. Jericho taunts Rey as he puts in a side headlock. Shoulder block by Jericho to huge heat. He eats Rey’s boot in the corner and Rey hits a diving hurricanrana. Jericho reverses a baseball slide and rams Rey’s head into the barricade on the outside. Back in the ring, Jericho hits a boston crab/guillotine in the ropes. Jericho nails a vertical suplex for a two count. The crowd tries to rally Mysterio out of a chinlock, but Jericho takes control and sets him on the top rope. Jericho is trying to go after the mask again, but Mysterio knocks him off. Mysterio nails a seated senton, but Jericho totally no-sells it and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Jericho works over Rey in the corner. He knocks Rey out of the ring and taunts the crowd, who in turn boos him out of the building. Back in, Rey reverses a suplex, but Jericho quickly nails a dropkick for two. Mysterio powers out of a rest hold and breaks it with some kicks and sends Jericho flying through the second rope. Mysterio comes off the top with a seated senton to the outside! Pretty swift looking spot if I do say so myself. Back in the ring, Rey hits a crossbody for two. Double springboard moonsault! One, two, no. Great spot that you don’t see Rey do anymore. Jericho reverses a springboard moonsault into a powerslam for a nearfall. Rey hits a moonsault for two! Jericho counters a rana into Walls of Jericho! Mysterio eventually gets to the ropes, and the crowd EXPLODES! Rey misses 619 and Jericho MAULS him with a clothesline. Rey kicks Jericho up top, but JERICHO REVERSES A FRANKENSTEINER INTO A POWERBOMB! One, two, no! His feet were on the ropes. This is starting to get awesome. Mysterio gets a rana pin for two. Jericho reverses a 619 into his spinning backbreaker, but Rey SPINS INTO A DDT! One, two, nope. AWESOME counter there. Jericho misses a clothesline, but Mysterio springboards and Jericho NAILS A CODEBREAKER! One, two, NO! Great nearfall. Jericho takes Rey to the top, but Chris misses a Frankensteiner. 619 by Rey! JERICHO REVERSES INTO WALLS OF JERICHO~! Mysterio looks for a sunset flip, and they trade nearfalls. Jericho takes Rey’s mask off, BUT HE HAS ANOTHER ONE! 619, body splash, one, two, three! Match was 16 minutes. AWESOME finish to a killer match.

                                                                                                                                  

Analysis: ****1/4 Man, what a display of counters in this match. They played off of their previous matches extremely well while also incorporating some new, better spots to cap off a heated, fun feud. Jericho got to play the bully in this match, and he excelled by getting monster heat from the crowd and ragdolling Rey around like he was nothing. The psychology with the mask escalated throughout, blending into the excellently clever finish with the second mask. These two pretty much have a three star outing every time they step into the ring together, and this is probably the best match I’ve seen them wrestle so far. Track this one down, because it’s a top five MOTYC for 2009, like most said.

FCW 15 Title Match: Seth Rollins © vs. Dean Ambrose; 30 Minute Iron Man

People have been hyping this bastard up like crazy, and considering the talent involved, it wouldn’t surprise me if it were one of the better outings of the year. Seth Rollins (aka Tyler Black for you indies-only fans) has been one of the best wrestlers to get to FCW in a while, but I don’t think he’s a great talker. Dean Ambrose? Oh, this guy has it ALL. He is a superstar in the making, my friends. He has a one of a kind style on the microphone, cutting some of the most unique promos seen in years. He also is one hell of a wrestler, which surprised me after first seeing him, considering he’d been apart of a lot of stupid ultraviolent shitbags. But rest assured, he’s just a one-of-a-kind talent and if WWE can let him loose like they did Punk, he’ll do a lot of good business for them.

This feud started right out of the gate, in which Ambrose called out Seth Rollins in his debut promo. They wrestled for the 15 title (MEDAL!~!) two times: the usual 15 minute Iron Man match was wrestled to a draw and their next match, a 20 minute Iron Man, ended with a draw. So the solution? Add ten minutes on that motherfucker and watch them go! My download is the whole show, so there are plenty of interviews making this seem like the most important match in FCW history. It really brings off kind of an indy vibe to me, with all of the formal interviews and hype surrounding it. Certainly got me hyped to see it, so what will happen?

So Cameron Lynn is the ring announcer for this one, and she flubs her lines. She was the infamous girl on Tough Enough who said her favorite match was Melina vs. Alicia Fox. And she’s a dancer for THE FUNKASAURUS!~! Her voice is so awfully annoying and it makes me sad that she couldn’t just, ya know, strip or something. I mean, she’s hot in a weird way, but nothing I’d really wanna delve into, for lack of a better phrase.

We start with a tie-up, but they break after a few seconds. They trade waistlocks, but Ambrose heads to the ropes to break Seth’s hold on him. Ambrose rolls through an arm wringer and dodges Avada Kedavra, Rollins’ superkick finisher. We already take a commercial break, but my download has no commercials. HA. We’re back with Rollins working on Dean’s arm at 26:00. Rollins hits a leg sweep, Ambrose kicks out at one, and Rollins puts in another armbar. Rollins goes to work on the arm with a keylock drop. Ambrose nails chops in the corner, all while selling his arm. He ties Seth up in the ropes and hits an open hand chop. Ambrose works Rollins over slowly and the corner, but Rollins kicks out of a pinfall attempt at one. Seth starts coming back with some stiff chops, seesawing Ambrose within the second rope. Rollins kicks him out of the ring. They brawl on the outside. Back in the ring, Rollins works Dean over in the corner as we pass the 22 minute mark. Ambrose dodges a dropkick and kicks Rollins in the balls for the DQ win at 21 minutes.. Rollins leads 1-0. Ambrose hits the Midnight Special (emerald flowsion variant) for the three count. We are tied 1-1 with 20 and a half minutes left. Really good throwback to Lesnar/Angle there. Ambrose nails a lariat for a three count! Ambrose leads 2-1 with 20 minutes left. Ambrose nails another lariat, but Rollins rolls out of the ring. We head to another commercial break. We’re back with 17 minutes left and Ambrose has Seth in a modified surfboard. Ambrose puts in a neck crank. Rollins attempts a comeback, but Ambrose targets the neck and foils that quickly. The two trade chops, but Ambrose hits a nice looking facebuster for two. We are halfway through. Ambrose shows good charisma by taunting the crowd and dancing in the middle of the ring. Rollins replies with a slap. Ambrose looks for the Midnight Special but Rollins rolls through with a sunset flip for three with 14 minutes left. We are tied 2-2. Rollins comes out like a house on fire. Ambrose dodges a curb stomp, and heads to the outside. SOMERSAULT PLANCHA FROM ROLLINS! Man, that looked pretty. Rollins smacked his head on the guardrail though. Back in the ring, Rollins nails Ambrose with a kick to the head, and Rollins nails a springboard clothesline! One, two, no! Ambrose dodges Avada Kedavra. Rollins floats over a suplex but eats Ambrose’s boot. Ambrose HITS A SICK SUPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE! We head to another commercial break at 10 minutes. We’re back with 8 minutes left. The two are brawling it out inside the ring. Ambrose smiles as Rollins stiffs the bejesus out of him. Rollins gets FUCKED IN THE FACE with a slap, but comes back with a Pele kick! Rollins gets a slow pin, ONE, TWO, thr—NO! Awesome nearfall. Rollins hits a Lionsault, one, two, thr—NO! Whew, this match is great. Rollins nails a series of step kicks, ADVANCED CURB STOMP! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!!! Damn it, dude. We have 5 minutes left. Rollins MISSES A PHOENIX SPLASH! Wow, that was beautiful! He seems to have not done that in FCW as the commentators sell surprise. That was one of his ROH finishers. Ambrose covers, ONE, TWO, THR—NO! Wow. This crowd fucking sucks, but these are great nearfalls to an awesome match. Ambrose is having trouble staying up, and Rollinsn tries to elbow out of a cloverleaf. Ambrose is just stomping on Seth’s gut right now. Rollins puts in the cloverleaf! Ambrose sits on it in the center of the ring. Rollins tries to power to the ropes, AND HE GETS THEM! We have 1 minute left in this one. Ambrose taunts Rollins in the corner and looks for Avada Kedavra, but ROLLINS NAILS THE MIDNIGHT SPECIAL!!! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!!  ROLLINS NAILS AVADA KEDAVRA!    ~! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!!! The time limit expires. FUCK. But wait, Maxine gives us sudden death! THANK YOU. Rollins puts in a small package, ONE, TWO, THR—NO! They just slug it out in the ring! Ambrose nails a running knee for a close nearfall. This crowd blows ass. They just stay quiet for the nearfalls. Rollins sends Ambrose out with a kick, nails an ELBOW SUICIDA! Rollins nails forearms in the ring, but Ambrose gives him one of his own! ROLLINS NAILS A SUPERKICK! AMBROSE NAILS A LARIAT! One, two, thr—NO!!! MIDNIGHT SPECIAL! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!! Fucking hell, this match is seven shades of amazing. Rollins kicks Ambrose off of the second rope and climbs to the top rope, and Ambrose looks for a super Midnight Special, but ROLLINS HITS AVADA KEDAVRA!~! AMBROSE GETS UP! Another superkick and GOD’S LAST GIFT! ONE, TWO, THREE! Holy balls. Match was 35 minutes.

Analysis: ****3/4 Whew. That was probably one of the most exciting 35 minute matches I’ve ever seen. Ambrose brought the character psychology early, taunting the crowd and trying to get inside Rollins’ head, but Rollins persevered and came out victorious. Surprisingly, Dean sold the arm throughout the whole match, which is something you never see anymore. Rollins showed really great maturity from the last time I’d seen him in FCW. He is really one of the best wrestlers in the world right now, and if you need any proof further, just watch this match. He hits his moves with such crispness that it makes you kind of frown upon a lot of his ROH matches because from what I’d seen with an opponent that weren’t Danielson or Richards, he showed a penchant for being sloppy. There was none of that here, and it made the match better. Ambrose showed that he has one hell of a grip on psychology that a lot of wrestlers don’t have nowadays. That will get him over for sure when WWE calls him up. The only reasons for me not going the full monty were the unwelcome commercials and the shitty crowd. I mean seriously, anywhere else, that match would have God himself popping for the nearfalls, which were some of the best I’ve seen in a long time. Yeah, it’s only FCW, but you put this match in a city like New York, Chicago, or even LA, that crowd would have pissed themselves by now. But this match was so good, that the crowd barely hurt it. So yeah, track this bastard down. It’s on Youtube, but I can’t type and do the Youtube thing, because it freezes up so I downloaded it. Just a killer match, the best I’ve seen Ambrose wrestle. If it weren’t for Rollins’ match with Davey Richards at Death Before Dishonor VIII, this would be his best.

NWA World Title Match: Adam Pearce © vs. Brent Albright

From ROH Death Before Dishonor VI. The only thing the video lets on here is that Albight had a history with Larry Sweeney and his goons, but something happened and now he’s feuding with them. I remember Albright from being Gunnar Scott in WWE for a cup of coffee. I’ve seen Pearce wrestle before and I can’t say I was impressed, but it’s not like I’ve seen enough to have a formidable opinion.

Adam Pearce plays a total dickhead heel in this match, being all old school and stuff. His gimmick it seems is him thinking he’s on Ric Flair’s level since he’s NWA champ. He plays a good old school heel. Also, we’re in the Hammerstein Ballroom for this one, and the lighting looks a whole shit ton better here than it did at Best in the World and Final Battle this year. This one is under NWA rules naturally, so throwing your opponent over the top is a DQ.

We start with a tie up, but they break quickly. Pearce is knocked down with a shoulderblock. Albright gets dragged out to the floor, but Albright mauls Bobby Dempsey. Albright stiffs Pearce into the ropes. “YOU GOT BITCHSLAPPED” chant, which is one of my personal favorite chants. They trade waistlocks. Albright rolls out of an armbar and locks in a headscissors. He bridges up from a pin attempt and bitch slaps Pearce again. Cue another “YOU GOT BITCHSLAPPED” chant. Pearce gets downed again as Albright attacks him in the corner. Albright nails some slick looking jabs, but Pearce sends his throat into the top rope. Pearce just spits in the ref’s face as he tries to stop Pearce from biting Albright. Albright is already busted open. Pearce tries to open the cut some more and taunts the Manhattan crowd. Pearce targets the knee after foiling an Albright comeback. Pearce is just playing a great old school heel. Pearce sends Albright out to the floor and tries to open his cut some more. Pearce runs Albright into the barricade and brings the mats up to expose the concrete. Albright catapults Pearce into the ringpost, and now Pearce blades. Albright heads back into the ring. Larry Sweeney looks to nail Albright with a chair to get Pearce DQ’d, but Roderick Strong  comes in and hits a Sick Kick on Sweeney! He sends Pearce in the ring, and Albright goes crazy on him. The crowd explodes at that. Albright hits a Tiger Feint knee, but Pearce comes back with a figure four! Albright gets to the ropes eventually. Pearce eats Albright’s knee, but Pearce MASSACRES him with a lariat for two. Albright gets a roll up for two, and after that hits a powerslam for 2. Pearce waffles Albright with a right hand and nails a back suplex. Pearce goes up top for an Awesome Splash, and nails it. One, two, no! Pearce goes right into an STF. Albright counters into a crowbar! Pearce’s feet slip under the ropes. Albright goes up top, but PEARCE SENDS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE! Pearce pulls him back in and nails a piledriver! One, two, thr—NO! Crowd and I were certainly sold on that one! The crowd starts getting mad into this one. Albright nails a half nelson suplex! Albright can’t get to the cover, so the ref starts the double 10 count. He hits another one! One, two, NO!! Wow, that was a good nearfall. They get to their knees and exchange shots! BOO for Pearce, YEAHH for Albright. They slug it out on the feet now, and Albright nails a german suplex! Another, another, and another! Albright hits a fifth german! One, two, thr—NO! Albright goes up top. Pearce rolls throught a sunset flip, but Albright gets a small package! ONE, TWO, NO! Crowbar! Pearce taps at 18 minutes. Great match.

Analysis: ***3/4 This was a really good match, but it was missing something. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there was still something missing. It might be the abrupt finish, but who knows. With that said, this was a great old school match that combined old school mannerisms (Pearce) with some new moves and it worked well. I’ve seen some people rate this very close to five stars, and I think that’s just insane. They worked well together and it was enjoyable, but the finishing stretch wasn’t all that hot, with the exception of a few good nearfalls that had me legitimately sold. The crowd was WAY into it, which is surprising since I haven’t seen either guy get much of a reaction in ROH, but it is a Manhattan crowd, so there you go.

GHC Heavyweight Title: Kenta Kobashi © vs. Tamon Honda

Kenta Kobashi is just a monster of course, and Tamon Honda is apparently a midcarder who got a big shot going up against Mr. Kobashi, but I have a feeling he won’t get out in one piece. Tamon Honda is a pretty pasty Japanese guy, but he has a cool beard. And Kenta Kobashi is KENTA FUCKING KOBASHI.

Kobashi overpowers with a tie up early on. They stand off after Honda shoves off a spear. Mitsuharu Misawa is on commentary, but damned if I can understand anything. Honda and Kobashi trade waistlocks until Honda hits a two suplexes, much to the crowd’s surprise. Kobashi rises with a front facelock. Honda rolls through with a leglock, so Kobashi latches one on and they take turns wrenching the respective legs. Honda goes to work on Kobashi’s leg, but Kenta quickly stops that by locking in an armbar. Kobashi nails an impressive delayed vertical suplex soon after. Honda gets to the ropes after succumbing to a chinlock, but quickly falls victim to an abdominal stretch. Honda tries to reverse, but Kobashi shuts him down and puts in a headlock. This is probably the most vicious headlocks I’ve ever seen as Kobashi is just squishing Tamon’s head. Tamon gets out of it with a backdrop driver, but eats a Russian legsweep seconds later. Kobashi puts in a pretty spiffy hooked full-nelson. They head to the outside where Kobashi drops a couple legdrops on Tamon’s head, which is stuck on the second rope. Kenta follows that with a pretty vicious DDT on the ramp. Honda sandbags on a suplex to the inside and HONDA NAILS A FUCKING GERMAN ON THE RAMP!! Awesome, awesome spot and the usually quiet Japanese crowd roars in approval at it. In the ring, 1, 2, no! Honda goes to work with an arm wringer. Honda foils a reversal and DROPS DOWN WITH A VICIOUS CROSS ARMBREAKER! Kobashi starts flailing and finally gets to the ropes. Honda goes to work on Kobashi’s arm on the outside. Back in the ring, Honda rolls through a half nelson suplex and puts in another armbar! Kobashi gets to the ropes and puts Honda in a sleeper! Honda gets out of a suplex with a cutter and goes back to the arm. Kobashi’s all FUCK YOU BITCH and shakes off a lariat, hitting a backdrop driver. Honda still fights back. Kobashi drops him on his head, but HONDA IS UP! Kobashi tries to choke him out, but Honda hits a suplex. HALF NELSON SUPLEX!~! ANOTHER ONE!~! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!~! Son of a bitch, what a nearfall. Honda get dropped square on the top of his head. Those were absolutely vicious. Honda gets out of a rolling chop and HITS A TAZMISSION SUPLEX!~! He locks on a variation of the Tazmission and Kobashi looks to be fading! Honda drops Kobashi with another suplex and hits a pumphandle powerbomb! One, two, no! Honda goes up top and HITS A FUCKING SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!~! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!!!!! I bought that one. Honda puts in an STF! He chickenwings that fucker! ARM TRIANGLE! Tamon WRENCHES IT! Kobashi stays alive! One, two, thr—no! Shit, what a match. Honda hits an avalanche in the corner and looks for a superbomb, but Kobashi ranas him! BURNING LARIAT! ONE, TWO, THR—NO!! HONDA HITS A SPEAR! GERMAN SUPLEX! KOBASHI’S UP! BURNING LARIAT AGAIN! Kobashi isn’t done, BUT HONDA CRADLES HIM! ONE, TWO, THR—NO! HALF NELSON SUPLEX!~! ONE, TWO, NO!! BURNING LARIAT! ONE, TWO, THREE! Match was 25 minutes

Analysis: ****1/2 Holy hell what a match. The nearfalls here were the best I’ve seen in any match. It had you believing that even though Honda didn’t seem to stand a chance, he just might have been able to pull off the unthinkable. That’s the kind of wrestling that grabs you in and makes you enjoy the product. Kobashi was just a tough bastard and all signs pointed to Honda getting squashed like a fly, but damn if Kobashi didn’t underestimate him. It was probably the oldest story in wrestling, but also one of the best: the tough, killer champion underestimates his opponent who nearly beats him on several occasions because of it. It is a simply but highly effective story and it was done to perfection in this match. I have no doubt that if something like this happened in say, WWE, where a little guy like Tyson Kidd or Trent Beretta just took John Cena or Randy Orton to the limit, they would be stars. It won’t happen, but it would have one hell of an effect. I can’t imagine any of the fans at the arena that night didn’t think better of Tamon Honda. His performance was spectacular, as was Kobashi’s, who always delivers anyway. This was just an amazing match, a worthy successor of Kobashi’s five star affairs that were part of his GHC title reign in the mid-2000’s.

Round Robin Challenge, Match #3: Bryan Danielson vs. Low Ki

From ROH Round Robin Challenge in 2002. Dragon and Low Ki had already had their coming-out party at The Era of Honor Begins with the awesome three way between those two and Christopher Daniels. Round Robin Challenge was ROH’s second show and was heralded as their best show of 2002, but I haven’t seen any 2002 shows in full. As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen this match before, so I’m going in with no spoilers. Yay.

Before the match starts, Ken Shamrock comes out and says he’s gonna referee. Can’t tell that dude no, can ya? I still don’t think he would punch as hard as Low Ki kicks. Just kidding. Maybe.

Low Ki begins by kicking Dragon in the leg. Low Ki gets out of a cross armbreaker, but Danielson puts on a can opener early. Low Ki mounts Dragon and elbows him through the mat. Low Ki takes control further with a bodyscissors, but Danielson turns over and puts in Billy Goat’s Curse. Dragon foils a Low Ki comeback with a headlock. Dragon stiffs the fuck out of Low Ki with some forearms. Low Ki rolls through to a front facelock, but Danielson blocks a kick soon after. Danielson uses Low Ki’s wild forearms to put in a crucifix armbar. Danielson gets out of a triangle choke with a powerbomb, the first impactful move so far, 7 minutes in. Still a great mat wrestling clinic so far though. Dragon stretches Low Ki with a modified STF, but Low Ki gets to the ropes. Low Ki DECKS Dragon with a feint kick to the face. Damn. Low Ki baits him inside, and Bryan stumbles back in the ring. Okay, we’re ten minutes in and it’s been mat wrestling the whole time. They’re busting out some submissions I have never seen before though. Bryan looks to be working on Ki’s leg, but Ki kicks Bryan like a bitch. Low Ki heats it up with some step kicks, and Dragon bails. Bryan ignores his legwork, looking for a cross armbreaker back in the ring. Low Ki barely escapes Cattle Mutilation, and falls victim to a back suplex. Low Ki buys himself some time with a kick to the face. Dragon’s eyes bug out as he eats stiff shots to the back. Bryan avoids a Ki Clutch but falls victim to a hooked Cobra Clutch. Bryan bails out, but Ki keeps the hold in! Awesome spot, but the crowd doesn’t lift a finger. Back in the ring, Ki hits a double stomp. Ki looks for another one, but Bryan bridges! Ki’s like fuck no bitch and stomps him again. Bryan gets out of a Ki Crusher with a Roaring Elbow and nails a Dragon Suplex! One, two, thr—no. Dragon goes up top and hits a swandive headbutt. Low Ki whips Bryan in the corner, hits a kick combo, and a Dragon Suplex for 2! Low Ki puts on Cattle Mutilation! Dragon slides through and puts in a Ki Clutch! Dragon hits a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Low Ki looks for a springboard crossbody but Dragon hits a dropkick! That gets a 2 count. Steve Corino says this is one of the best matches of all time, but damn it Steve, that’s stupid. Sorry man. Ki comes back with a brainbuster, and a flurry of his signature stiff kicks. Ki Krusher! One, two, thr—NO! Awesome nearfall. Dragon gets his knees up on a Phoenix Splash, but Ki would have eaten his knees anyway. Dragon gets 2 on a Dragon Suplex. Dragon goes up top and hits a super backdrop! That gets 2. I’m not feeling this match all too much. Dragon puts Low Ki up top again, but Low Ki clubs him and hits a super Ki Krusher! The ring is extra springy tonight, as they bounce straight up in the air. Dragon falls out of the ring to prevent a pinfall. Pinfall gets 2 as Dragon gets his feet on the ropes. Dragon catches a tidal wave and hits a capture suplex! One, two, thr—no. Cattle Mutilation! Low Ki passes out from the pain at 32 minutes. Anti-climactic…

Analysis: ***1/2 I liked this match. It certainly did not appeal to me as it did other fans, but I liked the work they put into it. the first 12 or so minutes got pretty tedious after it was all submission work without major work on any body part, but they turned it up a little bit when they sensed it was the time. And seriously, if you’re going to spend half the match doing submissions, have it lead somewhere ya know? It’s just wasted time if it doesn’t lead anywhere. Plus, I would have liked the nearfalls to be a little more believable here. Some of them had potential to be great, but for whatever reason they weren’t as impactful as need be. Plus, the crowd only popped for certain parts of the match. Other parts, they sat on their hands. Philadelphia always has mixed crowds, and these fans were the precise definition. Bryan and Ki deserve accolades for their work in the ring, but the psychology was lacking, the nearfalls weren’t believable, and the finish sucked, even if it put over Low Ki’s toughness. If you like this match more than I did, then cheers to you. I just didn’t dig it like everyone else seemed to.

Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe

From ROH’s Fifth Year Festival Finale. These two (awesome) brothers lost their tag titles the previous night to Naruki Doi and Shingo (in a ridiculously fun match) and decided they needed to man up, so this match was made. They had a couple great matches at Honor Invades Boston in 2002 and One Year Anniversary in 2003. Will they top themselves?

Duel “Let’s Go Briscoe” chant. HA! Jay gets a kick out of that.

We start with a tie-up, but it’s broken. Mark goes to work on Jay’s arm, but breaks cleanly when Jay gets to the ropes. Jay nearly puts in a cross armbreaker, but Mark gets to the ropes. Jay bitch slaps his brother, but Mark gets the upper hand on a test of strength, returning the bitch slap to his brother. Hard to believe these guys were only 22-23 here. Jay goes to work on Mark’s leg, but Mark crawls to the ropes. Mark maintains a side headlock on his brother after a back suplex. Mark breaks it and kicks Jay hard in the small of his back. Jay Cactus-clotheslines his brother to the outside, and they trade chops on the outside until Jay takes control. These guys are beating the hell out of each other. Mark whips Jay into the the guardrails, knocking a couple banners off in the process. Moonsault off the guardrails! Mark eats the guardrail after a very stiff strike exchange. Mark suplexes Jay on the aisleway! Back in the ring, Mark nails a spin kick to Jay’s jaw for a two count, soon after locking in a head-scissors. Jay fires back with forearms, and chops Mark off of a springboard. Mark shakes that shit off and hits a slingshot double stomp. Mark hits a springboard senton for 2. Jay comes back and hits a bodyslam and a leg drop for 2. Jay puts in a Japanese stranglehold. Mark makes an attempt at a comeback but eats a knee to the gut, stopping him dead. Mark comes back with an Exploder suplex for 2. Jay gets out of another one and hits a running boot for 2. The brothers trade strikes in the middle of the ring, until Jay kicks Mark out of the ring in mid-air! SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! Jay hits a frog splash back in the ring for a close 2 count. Mark KICKS out of a Jay Driller (not the pin, the set up) and puts his brother up top for a SPRINGBOARD CUTTER! One, two, thr—no! Mark nails a springboard corkscrew for a good two count. JAY REVERSES A SUPERPLEX INTO A GORDBUSTER! Awesome, awesome spot. Jay nails a Falcon Arrow! One, two, thr—MARK GETS THE ROPES! Jay starts wrenching heavily on a stretch plum and HITS A SICK LARIAT! ONE, TWO, THR—NO! Awesome nearfall. This is starting get hot. Mark nails an Exploder! One, two, thr—no! Mark shoves Todd Sinclair into the corner. Sinclair falls to his knees, and MARK JUMPS OFF HIM AND RANAS JAY OUT TO THE FLOOR! Holy SHIT. Mark covers Jay in the ring, one, two, thr—NO! Great nearfall there. They trade strikes in the middle of the ring. JAY DRILLER! However, Jay’s too exhausted to make the cover. Awesome match here. Jay cracks a smile and gets up! Mark falls on his ass after knocking Jay down with a forearm. MARK NAILS A CUT-THROAT DRIVER!! Mark can’t follow up due to exhaustion. The two brothers don’t answer the 10 count, so the match is ruled a draw at 27 minutes.

Analysis: ****1/2 Goddamn, what a war. These two absolutely bludgeoned each other throughout the whole match and wrestled a whole different match than their four star affair in 2002. They thought that they may be growing soft, so they just spent 30 minutes beating the holy hell out of one another. And even though I may be stuck in the minority, I thought the finish was really clever as it proved that even though they both beat the shit out of each other for varied lengths of time, they still had no way to prove who was better. It makes them both seem strong, which is critical in a tag team, especially as established as the Briscoe Brothers are. I think they had one match during the HDNet era, but I don’t know where to find it, so I’ll leave it alone. But yeah, if you want a stiff, back-and-forth, just balls-out war, then track this bad-boy down because the Briscoes were just as awesome in 2007 as they are now.

So there they are. I can’t give you a final analysis, but I can recommend all 6 matches to you because they’re all really good in their own way. The one that is probably mandatory viewing if you want to see the future of the WWE is Rollins-Ambrose, which is just a clinic. The least-greatest match is Low Ki-Danielson, which may tickle other wrestling fans to death, so don’t take my word for it. And by all means, track down Briscoe-Briscoe too. It’s just awesome. Did I ever mention I adore the Briscoes, in a non-gay way? Well, I do. They’re my favorite current wrestlers right now, along with Daniel Bryan. I just can’t say enough about Kobashi-Honda either. It’s just an exciting, tension-filled 25 minutes, with an exquisite—but simple—story being told throughout. That’s probably my 2^nd favorite match of the bunch.

Final Match Rankings:

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins (FCW TV, 9-18-11) (****3/4)

Kenta Kobashi vs. Tamon Honda (Pro Wrestling NOAH, 4-13-03) (****1/2)

Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe (ROH Fifth Year Festival: Finale) (****1/2)

Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (WWE The Bash) (****1/4)

Adam Pearce vs. Brent Albright (ROH Death Before Dishonor VI) (***3/4)

Low Ki vs. Bryan Danielson (ROH Round Robin Challenge 2002) (***1/2)

EVOLVE 9: Gargano vs. Taylor, plus Finlay-Callihan

EVOLVE 9: Gargano vs. Taylor

Manhattan, NY

June 26, 2011

So this is EVOLVE, a retardedly capitalized name, but a pretty well thought-of company. They have an emphasis on win-loss records, trying to make wrestling seem more like MMA. I don’t like that, but I’ve never seen an EVOLVE show, so we’ll see how it works.

Immediately starting, I really like the atmosphere. It’s a tiny venue, I can’t imagine they can fit 500 people, but it’s a New York crowd, so they’re rabid. They’re at BB King’s, a venue in which I’ve never heard of.

EVOLVE 9 starts with Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano, the headliners talking. Nothing of worth here, basically just telling each other that they will bring it.

Eric Ryan vs. Bobby Beverly

I’ve never heard of these two. Will they surprise me?

We start with a tie up. Bobby Beverly takes control early with a flip armdrag, but Ryan comes back with stiff chops in the corner. Beverly makes his comeback with a dropkick for a two count. They’re working a good fast pace. Beverly nails a superkick, but Ryan turns things around and nails a coast to coast! Beverly bails and Ryan hits a great missile tope. Back in the ring, they trade forearms. They trade suplexes and knock each other down with simultaneous lariats. Kevin Steen comes in and causes the DQ at 4 minutes.

Post-match: Steen nails a package piledriver on both wrestlers. Announcers sell disgust. Steen grabs a mic, kicks Beverly out of the ring and shit talks ROH, or in his words Ring of Horseshit. He is absolutely hilarious in this promo, which lasts a pretty long time. Steen to the commentators: “Rob, I swear to God if you open your mouth one time while I have this microphone in my hands, I will rape your mouth.” Steen busts off so many awesome one-liners, verbally raping a heckler in the crowd. He even impersonates CM Punk by sitting in the middle of the ring.He shit talks a lot of people, particularly El Generico and Davey Richards. Jim Cornette gets a shit-talking to as well. Some guy named Bobby Fish comes out and steals Steen’s microphone, talks him down, and Steen exits, but I don’t think he’s done yet.

Analysis: ** Really fun match for the small time they were given. The post-match segment was fucking awesome. Beverly and Ryan worked one hell of a fast match. I’d love to see more of them.

Façade & Jason Gory vs. Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno & Player Dos)

I’ve heard of the Smash Brothers very vaguely, bit I’ve never seen them wrestle. I have no idea who Façade and Jason Gory are. Player Dos is a skinny guy, Player Uno is a big ol’ fat guy in a mask.

Player Dos takes control on Gory early. After foiling a comeback, he hits a spin kick. He tags Uno, who Gory takes control of. He tags Façade in, who Uno takes control. Double team reverse DDT by The Smash Brothers. Uno comes in, but Façade trips him up onto the second rope. Façade nearly botches a springboard bulldog. Gory and Façade make very frequent tags, but Uno comes back hitting a SICK DDT/reverse STO on them both. Player Dos tags in and hits a spinning plancha to the outside on Façade. Façade foils a double team by standing on his head in the corner. BUDDY MOONSAULT! Uno breaks the pin up. Uno sloppily powerbombs Gory into Façade. The Super Smash Brothers hit Fatality (gory special from Uno/ flip cutter from the top by Dos) at 6 minutes.

Post match: Lenny Leonard interviews the Brothers, but nothing really comes of it.

Analysis: ** It was a fun little sprint, but there were a lot of sloppy moves. Player Uno is very slow seemingly, but Player Dos has a lot of charisma and makes up for his partner’s shortcomings in the ring. Gory and Façade didn’t show me anything either.

Fit Finlay lectures some young wrestlers in the back. Nothing of note here either, but I’m pumped for his match later.

Sugar Dunkerton vs. Silas Young

I haven’t heard of either of these wrestlers. Silas Young comes down to the ring with a basketball, and shit talks Sugar, who waffles Silas with the ball.

Sugar starts with an armbar. Silas tells Sugar to make him laugh while he works over the arm, but Dunkerton gets the better of him. Dunkerton comes back by taking out Young’s knees for 2. Sugar lightens up Young’s chest with chops, but Young drops him on his face after an attempted headscissors. Young goes for some headstanding move off the top, but Dunkerton kicks him off and hits a tope. Young sends Dunkerton into the ringpost to buy himself some time. Young attacks Sugar in the ring and plays to the crowd. Young doesn’t shut the hell up in the ring, and it’s pissing me off. Young calls Dunkerton “boy” non-racist like, and a hilarious fan yells, “Who you callin’ boy?!” Young nails a Perfectplex for two and Silas puts in a resthold. Dunkerton comes back with a lariat for two, with a Northern Light’s Suplex also getting him 2. Young buys himself some time, but Dunkerton hits a nice diving reverse STO for two. Young gets to the ropes after a Koji clutch. Sugar comes back, but Silas hits the Pee Gee Waja Plunge (headstand/springboard moonsault) for three at 9 minutes.

Post-match: Johnny Gargano comes down and talks to Young about how he got him to drink, but he didn’t know of Silas’ past, whatever that is. Young refuses a handshake.

Analysis: **1/4 It wasn’t much of an action packed match, but they told a decent story with Sugar Dunkerton trying to prove he isn’t a joke anymore. Young showed promise, but he needs to shut up in the ring if he wants to be taken seriously. Inoffensive but unmemorable match.

Sami Callihan warms up for his match against Finlay later.

Pinkie Sanchez vs. Lince Dorado

I’ve not heard of either of these guys either, but Pinkie seems to have somewhat of a following evidenced by his crowd reaction early.

Lince Dorado takes control early. Dorado hits a BEAUTIFUL corkscrew armdrag, then fakes Sanchez out with a dive. Pinkie comes back around and Dorado hits a corkscrew plancha. Sanchez dropkicks Dorado in the middle of of a quebrada. Pinkie takes control from there. Dorado kicks Pinkie in his face for a two count shortly thereafter. Sanchez resumes control quickly though. Sanchez starts to work on the leg. Dorado bitch slaps him though. Kevin Steen joins the commentary booth! Sanchez continues to work on the leg. Dorado comes back with a crossbody, but Pinkie takes control again. Mutoh Moonsault misses for Sanchez, and Dorado nails a dropkick. Lince hits a sloppy frankensteiner and a shooting star press for a close two count. Pinkie builds momentum and hits a sweet springboard DDT. Pinkie puts on a figure four leglock and Dorado taps at 9 minutes.

Analysis: **1/4 Nothing of note here really. Pinkie impressed, Dorado impressed, and they had a nice little sprint. I’ve heard a lot about Pinkie Sanchez, but there wasn’t nearly enough here to form a decent opinion. He looked pretty crisp and he was pretty over, so I’ll assume he has a good reputation among the indies.

Post-match: Sanchez shows off his personality, which is that of a jackass, whether it’s intentional or not. It’s funny in a way, but it isn’t going to get him very far.

Jon Davis hypes himself up, taking in Finlay’s words to heart.

Lenny Leonard brings out Larry Dallas (who?) for an interview. Larry brings some big old motherfucker with him. Larry introduces Caleb Konley and Scott Reed, The Scene. Konley used to look a shit ton like Brian Kendrick, but now he looks like a douchebag with a bell cut.

Cheech and Cloudy vs. The Scene

I’ve heard of Cheech and Cloudy, who were in ROH for a cup of coffee.

Cheech and Reed start. Reed takes control and tags Konley early. Cheech buys some time with a jawbreaker. Cloudy (who’s very short) tags in, and gets a two count with a tope con hilo. Cheech tags back in, and they put in a great looking double boston crab. Up in Smoke hits a dropkick/tiger feint kick combo, but Konley takes control of Cheech with a sick slam on the top turnbuckle for two. Reed tags in and kicks Cheech in the face for 2. Konley tags in and puts on a rear chinlock. Cheech tries to take both members of The Scene by himself, and he ends up buying himself some time with a powerslam on Konley. They tag their respective partners. Cloudy takes Konley out of the ring, and hits an AWESOME spinning suicida onto him. Reed hits a crucifix bomb and Cheech breaks the pin. Konley hits a good flurry of strikes and a leg sweep for two. Reed tags in and gets a two count with a jumping elbow. He nails a delayed vertical suplex and Cheech cockily breaks up the pin. Cloudy puts Konley down with a missile dropkick, and tags Cheech, who cleans house. Cheech hits a nice pumphandle suplex on Konley, who lands on Reed. Up in Smoke hits a double enziguri, and Cloudy hits an AWESOME partner assisted DDT. Cloudy nails shotgun knees, but Konley breaks it up and nails a Gory Bomb. Cheech comes in and foils a submission, but Reed comes in and gets two on a Falcon Arrow to Cloudy. Cheech cleans house, sends Konley out, and Cloudy nails Reed with an elbow. Caleb Konley suplexes Cheech on the apron and The Scene hits a DDT/wheelbarrow suplex for a 3 count at 12 minutes.

Analysis: *** Damn, this was a fun match. The double team moves here were something you rarely see, and even though it ended up being a debut pad for The Scene as a team, Cheech and Cloudy took their time to impress. The Scene didn’t shine all that much to me, but they still did good, not botching anything and keeping the crowd into it. Up In Smoke did a fantastic job of putting the transitions in there, and Cloudy is small enough to play a wonderful face-in-peril, even if the heat segment ended early. The sprint to the finish was the icing on the cake. 

Post-match: Larry Dallas and his big ass bodyguard (who Steen and Rob Naylor kindly point out that he is in fact, a large black man) come in and celebrate. The Scene and the aforemention large black man exit the ring with Dallas. CHEECH TURNS ON CLOUDY! Want your statement? There’s your statement says Cheech. Not as good as the Osirian Portal break up at CHIKARA High Noon, but a great segment nonetheless.

Finlay laces up his boots backstage.

Bobby Fish vs. Jon Davis

Apparently, Jon Davis is EVOLVE’s new golden boy, along with Johnny Gargano. Bobby Fish came out earlier to talk Steen down, but he also faced Bryan Danielson in the Dragon’s first EVOLVE match.

We start with a technical wrestling exchange. Fish puts in a headlock, but Kevin Steen’s all FUCK YOU BITCHES and wrecks the match at 40 seconds.

Post match: Jon Davis proposes a three way, and the ref agrees. It’s unsactioned. Whoopee. Any Kevin Steen is good Kevin Steen as far as I am concerned.

Bobby Fish vs. Jon Davis vs. Kevin Steen

Davis punks out the referee to start. Fish and Steen go to the floor and brawl it out, soon joined by Davis. Davis and Fish trade kicks, and Steen eventually breaks stuff up with a double face-rake. Now I’m just waiting for Kevin to rape someone in the mouth. I know it’s a morbid thing to say, but independent wrestling does some screwed up stuff nowadays. Davis falls prey to a Steen Codebreaker back in the ring, and Steen follows with a cannonball. Steen heads to the outside with Fish, and Steen powerbombs Bobby on the apron. Davis intervenes and nails a reverse DDT on the apron. Bobby Fish dives out onto Davis. Fish works over Steen in the ring. Davis nails a powerbomb on Fish for a two count, and Steen breaks up their fight, hitting rope hung DDT on Davis for 2. Fish targets Steen’s legs and gives him a Saito Suplex for two. Davis eats a Steen suplex, and Steen eats a spin kick. Davis decides to join the fun and he clotheslines the dick out of Fish. Fish nails an Exploder Suplex, but Kevin breaks up the pin. Kevin puts Bobby in a sharpshooter, but he eats Davis’ boot. Davis puts him down with a Jackhammer, but Fish breaks the pin. Davis is sent to the floor, and Fish counters a package piledrive from Steen. Fish puts in a Fish Hook after a sunset flip. Davis breaks the hold, and Kevin Steen nails Fish right in the grapes. POUNCE BY DAVIS! Argentine Bomb from Davis gets 3 at the 7 minute mark.

Analysis: **3/4 They had a really fun three way, in which the rules didn’t make much impact on the match. They busted out some strong offense, in order to make all three men look good. Davis impressed the most of all with his powerful demeanor and his overall presence made the match a little better weirdly. Not much substance, but they traded high impact moves and had fun.

They promote WWNLive.com, the website EVOLVE, DGUSA, and FIP runs their iPPV’s on.

Tony Nese vs. John Silver

Nese was on Impact a few times last year, and Silver is an unknown commodity.

The two trade basic holds until Nese takes control of Silver’s arm. Silver flips out of it and nails a European uppercut. They miss respective strikes, nail simultaneous dropkicks, and GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! That was a sick exchange though. Nese grabs Silver’s arm, but Silver reverses. Silver goes to work on Nese’s arm. Nese just picks Silver up with one arm and bombs Silver into the buckle. Nese nails a running boot for a two count. Nese bitch slaps Silver, who nearly yells “Aww SHIT.” Silver evades a moonsault, but kicks waffled in the face with a kick on a sunset flip attempt. Silver takes control again, knocking Nese down with an enziguri. Silver eats Nese’s boot in the corner, but drives his knees into Nese’s face on an attempted sunset flip. Nese lariats the hell out of Silver before John can dive to the outside. The two meet in the middle of the ring and trade strikes. Silver hits a springboard tornado DDT for a two count. Nese hits an awesome dead-weight German for a 2 count. This match is great. Silver kicks Nese in the head, but Nese foils a top rope moonsault. SPIDER SUPLEX! I love that move. Silver gets back up and hangs Nese in the tree of woe and he hits a SICK DOUBLE KNEE DROP! That gets a close 2 count. Nese puts Silver in the corner and hits a Ciampa-esque running knee for a 2 count. Silver looks for a reverse hurricanrana, but Nese SMASHES HIS FACE IN THE TURNBUCKLE. Jesus, that looked vicious. Nese hits a sit-out backdrop bomb for a two count. You’d know it if you saw it. Nese nails a couple enziguris that seem to knock Silver out for a second. Nese covers for a two count, but Silver was playing possum and he takes control. Both men ascend the ropes, where Silver crotches Nese. Nese does likewise. They bitch slap each other until Nese gives Silver a vicious kick to knock him down. Silver moves out of the way of a 450 splash, and he hits an inverted Backstabber for the win at 13 minutes.

Analysis: ***1/4 Man, what a great match. They literally went balls out for every single second they were given, and got this hesitant crowd into the match, moreso than any match on the card yet. They no-sold a bit, which detracted from the match a bit, but damned if they didn’t put effort into it. They brought this crowd alive with some awesome moves, and I think we’ve seen a new prospect in John Silver.

Video preview for EVOLVE 7. Jon Moxley had his farewell here, and is now Dean Ambrose, by vote for the future of WWE.

Fit Finlay vs. Sami Callihan

Finlay is probably one of the most underrated wrestlers of all time, but the fact is, is that he is an absolute machine and one of the most productive workers WWE had for the latter part of the decade. I know he fucked up, but WWE shouldn’t have released him for what he did. But oh well. I’ve heard of Sami Callihan, who apparently became EVOLVE’s top heel at EVOLVE 10, the last ever ECW Arena show. He was in ROH for a while too when Adam Pearce was booking.

Finlay knocks Sami on his ass to start. Callihan backs off after Finlay punks him out again. Finlay toys with Callihan in the corner and hits a sick short lariat. You can already tell this match is going to be great. Callihan counters into a headscissors. They stare each other down, and like a badass Finlay just headbutts Callihan. Callihan tries to do the same, but Finlay’s all FUCK YOU HO and puts on an armbar on the mat. Callihan backs off again after a rollup. Sami nails some VICIOUS chops. Jesus, those are sick. Finlay gets pissed and throws Callihan into the corner. Callihan nails some more vicious chops. Finlay tries to go after the legs, but Sami gets to the ropes. Finlay eats a bitch slap, and some more chops. Finlay slides under the ropes and just pulls Callihan out. I am loving this match so far. Finlay works the leg on the outside. Callihan is thrown into the ring, kicks Finlay off, but Finlay whacks him as soon as Callihan gets to the floor again. Callihan takes control and hits two MONSTROUS chops. Back in the ring, Finlay takes control again. Finlay hits a body slam, but makes sure Sami’s knee straddles the rope. Rinse and repeat that spot. Finlay goes to work on the knee masterfully. Finlay puts on a sick Indian deathlock and Callihan eventually gets to the ropes. Sami sells his knee wonderfully as well, and Finlay attacks the knee after distracting the referee. Callihan tries to go toe-to-toe, but Finlay attacks him again. I’m loving the story in this match too. Callihan breaks a Stretch Muffler. Callihan comes back with a pump kick and a DVD for two. Finlay catches a baseball slide, and for his troubles Sami eats the guardrail on the outside. Callihan knocks Finlay down with an enziguri and nails a couple more chops. Jesus, Sami’s chops are killer-esque. Finlay has had enough and he just shoves Callihan over the top rope. Finlay hits a bodyslam to Callihan on the outside. Callihan nails a Saito suplex for a 2 count. Finlay eats a Forearm to Remember, but Finlay grabs the ropes before the ref can count 3. Finlay heads to the outside and dodges a suicide dive as Callihan EATS the guardrail. Jeezus. Finlay foils a top rope move for a 2 count. CELTIC CROSS! One, two, thr—NO! Awesome nearfall there. Crowd and I thought that was the end. Callihan flips him off, so he eats ANOTHER CELTIC CROSS! One, two, th—NO! Callihan flips him off again, so Finlay nails a tombstone piledriver! One, two, three! Finlay picks up the win at 23 minutes.

Analysis: ****1/4 My God, what a match. These two provided something drastically different from any match you’ll ever see on the independent circuit, and it provided an amazing change of pace from the tedious fast paced spotfests you see. They wrestled an old-school match, which was fitting (no pun intended) because of Finlay’s involvement. He has such a grasp on how to work a match, how to play to a crowd, and how to build up sympathy for his opponent. He barely ever got to show these kinds of chops in WWE, and now that he’s on the indies, even at 50+, he shows why he’s one of the best around. Sami Callihan impressed the sam hell out of me here. I was initially confused as to what role he was playing, considering his persona was that of a heel, but as soon as Finlay started beating the holy crap out of him, it was obvious he would play the babyface for this match. He did a wonderful job garnering a little bit of sympathy, but still not looking like a bitch, matching Finlay’s stiff shots with some absolutely SWELTERING chops. Ths story they told here was simple, but highly effective as Finlay played the wily veteran, outsmarting Callihan at every turn, even when Callihan looked to be in control. Callihan was very game here, but Finlay proved that the veteran knows best when he finally finished what was a unique, exquisite old school match. I really want to see more of Finlay in the indies, so that maybe he can bring a change of pace from a lot of the no-selling you see and end up bringing hard-hitting, technical constests that tell a story. I can’t enough wonderful things about this match, so you just have to go see it for yourself.

Post-match: The crowd chants “Thank you Sami” in a nice showing of gratitude. Finlay thanks EVOLVE for the opportunity and Sami for kicking his ass. He puts Sami over as one of the toughest wrestlers he ever faced, which has to be a HUGE compliment, considering who Finlay has been in the ring with. The two embrace on the outside.

Bobby Fish gripes about his inability to win, as he is 1-5 in ROH.

Johnny Gargano vs. Chuck Taylor

I’ve seen Taylor wrestle in PWG, and he is great there, as he displays a lot of charisma. I’ve never heard of Johnny Gargano outside of a few mentions of his time in DGUSA. Larry Dallas comes out and tries to prevent this match from happening. It doesn’t work. No shit, right?

We start with a tie up. Gargano nails a rana, and they reach a stalemate. Not a GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! which makes me happy. Johnny puts in a headlock, but Larry Dallas tries to screw with Chuck Taylor and throw in the towel. Gargano pie faces Larry Dallas, and “fires” him. I don’t know what that means here, but okay. Chuck drops Johnny with a dropkick, and hits a missile dropkick moments later. Taylor stretches Gargano. Taylor misses a Stinger Splash and Gargano hits a double stomp, followed by a neckbreaker. Gargano hits a SICK tornado DDT from the apron, but the crowd doesn’t respond, burnt out from Finlay-Callihan. They dodge each other’s moves, and Gargano hits a slingshot spear. Gargano goes to work on Taylor’s shoulder. Taylor comes back with a stunner to stall things for Gargano momentum-wise. They head out to the apron and slug it out there, until Taylor hits a reverse DDT. Taylor leaps off the guardrail onto Gargano (sick spot), and they head back in the ring shortly after. Taylor nails a uranage back in the ring, and gets a two count with a superkick. Gargano nails Taylor with a superkick coming off the ropes, Benjamin-Michaels-esque for a nearfall of his own. Taylor catches Gargano on the top rope and they fight it out up top, and Taylor hits a fallaway slam. Gargano no-sells and puts in a crossface, which Taylor reverses into one of his own. Gargano hits Sliced Bread for 2. Gargano reverses a move into an enziguri, but Taylor pops right back up and misses an Awful Waffle, and Gargano reverses into Emerald Flowsion. Gargano dodges a suplex to the outside, but Taylor counters a slingshot DDT onto the stage! Gargano doesn’t move for a while, but heads back into the ring at 18.  Gargano pops right back up like an idiot for a small package, but to no avail. Taylor goes up top, but Johnny pushes him off and hits a cannonball to the outside. Hurts Donut gets a two count. I’m not digging this match all that much for some reason. Hurts Donut gets another two count, so Gargano puts in a crossface. Gargano hits a superkick, but Taylor nails an Awful Waffle for the abrupt 3 count at 20 minutes.

Analysis: *** I wasn’t as in love with this match as others were. They did a lot of things right and got the crowd into it at the end, but they didn’t build any drama, and when they tried to, they showed no fire or emotion. I was much more impressed with Taylor in PWG than I was here, and while both wrestlers hit their moves well, no emotion was put into what they had to offer. I hate matches that try to be dramatic, but the wrestlers’ faces are monotone throughout the whole match. It defeats the purpose. I thought they worked extremely hard and tried to get the crowd into it—eventually succeeding—but the problems that Richards-Edwards III had were ever so present here, i.e. popping up after high impact moves, needless striking exchanges, and no fire in their actions. However, with all that criticism piled on, I thought they worked their asses off for what it’s worth, and they earned my respect, selling or not. That’s what my rating is for because a lot of wrestlers don’t even give effort. And while flawed, they went 20 minutes, balls out, to try and prove their worth. I’d love to see them go at it again, but this match wasn’t as good as people tend to say it is, much less a MOTYC that I have seen people pimp it as. I do have different tastes and I am much more stingy in indy matches than most people, so take a gander at the match for yourself.

Larry Dallas is fired backstage by Chuck Taylor. Larry promises The Scene big things in their future. And SCENE.

Final Rating?

I give this show an 8 out of 10

Why?

The reason I give this show such a high score is because of it’s consistency. There wasn’t a bad match on the card, and even though there were some short, filler-esque matches, they were all fun in their own way. EVOLVE proves that Gabe Sapolsky can book a wrestling show, as he booked a LOT of variety here. The one reason to watch this show is Finlay-Callihan, which is an absolute spectacle. They had a hard-hitting match that got the crowd fully invested, and burnt them out for the main event, which turned out to be a mild disappointment. Tony Nese and John Silver pulled a spontaneous good match out of themselves, and we saw an interesting angle with Cheech turning on Cloudy, which will lead to an inevitable feud. This show is so fun to watch top-to-bottom, and even if my criticism on a lot of stuff is harsh, it’s all fun to watch as a whole. Big recommendation for EVOLVE 9, which you can pick up at Highspots, DGUSA store, or watch at WWNLive.com.

ROH Final Battle 2011: Richards-Edwards III, WGTT-Briscoes, Corino-Steen

Ring of Honor presents: Final Battle 2011

Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, NY

December 23^rd, 2011

After a bit of issues with the stream, we start the show off in the middle of the ring with CEO Joe Koff, Cary Silken, Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness, and the greatest man ever (not really, but I love that big oaf) Jim Cornette. Cornette hypes up the crowd, saying preliminary reports show that this show will exceed any buyrate ROH has ever had. Well, no shit Jimmy. Koff thanks the crowd and Cary Silkin. We segue into the first match of the evening.

Michael Elgin (w/ Truth Martini) vs. TJ Perkins

Michael Elgin has emerged as the best big man in wrestling today, while TJ Perkins is slowly making a name for himself in Ring of Honor by way of the TV show (which I highly suggest you check out, because it is consistently entertaining) getting beat in 7 minute matches, but beating scrubs.

Here we go, and they start off circling. Did I mention I love Michael Elgin? Well, I do. Michael just tosses TJP around like a rag doll, but TJ gets him in the corner and kicks. They trade slaps, but Perkins locks in a headlock. He dodges a couple clotheslines, and hits a nice dropkick. He knocks Elgin over the ropes and fakes a second rope dive. TJ finally does it and Elgin catches him and runs him gut first into the guardrail! Back in the ring, Elgin takes control of Perkins. He foils a comeback, but Perkins reverses a suplex but Elgin reverses a headscissors into a freefall drop for a two count. Sitting waistlock is locked in by Elgin as the crowd rallies TJ up, who escapes with back elbows. Martini interferes, but TJ reverses a Gorilla press into a headscissors that knocks Elgin to the outside. TOPE! Back in the ring, TJ hits a missile dropkick for two. Elgin is too big to be taken down for a sunset flip, but TJ dodges a butt drop and hits a SICK standing corkscrew senton for two. TJ goes up top but Elgin stops anything else from happening with some chops. Elgin looks for a superplex, but TJ knocks him off. TJ jumps off and Elgin catches him in midair in suplex position! Falcon Arrow for a great nearfall. Elgin hits a Shock Treatment backbreaker for another nearfall. This is a really good match. Perkins hits a jumping neckbreaker on Elgin, looks for double knees, but Elgin reverses into a Buckle Bomb! Elgin looks for the Spiral Bomb, but PERKINS REVERSES INTO AN AWESOME REVERSE HURRICANRANA! TJ looks for a Detonation kick, but he can’t get Elgin up. He tries to stun Elgin and does, but Elgin gets out of another Detonation Kick. Elgin hits the Buckle Bomb and this time he hits the Spiral Bomb for the 1, 2, 3 at an all too short 7 minutes.

Analysis: **3/4 This was an AWESOME match for 7 minutes long. They didn’t get sloppy at all and built up some good nearfalls for the lack of time they were given. Elgin is a special wrestler and TJ kicks all sorts of ass and plays a good sympathetic babyface. This match could have gone for another ten minutes and perhaps entered the four star range, but no such luck, I guess.

The stream/audio has a major fuck up, and I hope this doesn’t become a recurring theme over the show because it sucks.

Tommaso Ciampa (w/ The Embassy) vs. Jimmy Rave

I’ve lightened up a lot on Ciampa, who has really impressed me with his wrestling and calm demeanor. I haven’t seen too much of Jimmy Rave but I’ve heard he was a fantastic heel in ROH. He’s playing the face here, so obviously I won’t see firsthand.

Pre match, Nana rambles incoherent words, so RD Evans takes over. Crowd tells him to shut the fuck up, but he tells them to watch their language in front of royalty. He says Jimmy Rave is like the ex girlfriend who doesn’t get the hint. He says it’ll be a silent night for Jimmy Rave. Rave comes out looking different than he did when I saw his match against Bryan Danielson in 2006, with short hair, a beard, and not a big, douchebag look. I like the change, but he still looks a bit skinny. Oh well.

They have a staredown to start, and Ciampa doesn’t shake Rave’s hand. They tie up and Ciampa overpowers the former Crown Jewel of the Embassy. They tie up again and Ciampa transitions into an arm wringer, which Rave counters into one of his own. Ciampa counters into a headlock, takes him over and locks in a chinlock for a second, but Rave gets out. Rinse and repeat that spot. Ciampa gets Rave again with an arm wringer, locks in an armbar, and they break with Rave selling his arm. They lock up once more, and Jimmy comes out with an arm wringer. Ciampa powerfully breaks it, and they trade cheap shots with Rave coming out on top with a loogie to the face. However, Ciampa immediately turns it around with a lariat that sends Rave to the outside. Ciampa sends Rave into the barricade and hits some open handed chops. Rave fires back with a knife edged chop of his own and throws Tommaso back in. Ciampa hits a jawbreaker, sends Rave sitting into the corner and hits two nice looking knees to the face for a two count. Ciampa starts toying with Rave now, but Rave comes back. Rave builds up some offense, but eats Ciampa’s boot in the corner. Ciampa runs the ropes, but Rave trips him up. Ciampa gets to the ropes on a single leg crab. Ciampa rolls out to the apron, and Jimmy knees him out to the barricade. Rave looks for a baseball slide, but Ciampa grabs his legs and wheelbarrows Rave into the guardrail. Ciampa sells his leg well, I must say. Rave comes in with a sunset flip, but Ciampa rolls through. Rave quickly takes control back and hits a Shining Wizard, and a Rave Clash! He only gets a nearfall, though. “AJ Styles” chant from this “witty” NYC crowd. Rave looks for Greetings From Ghana (pedigree) but Prince Nana brings out Rave’s old Embassy robe. The whole Embassy interferes, but Rave outsmarts them. Ciampa regains his bearings and hits Project Ciampa for the academice three count at 9 minutes.

Analysis: ** Not a great match, I’m afraid. The work was technically sound, no botches that I noticed, but it wasn’t built on television and Ciampa does not have a solid character base to work with as Rave seemed to have when he was the Crown Jewel. Rave looked fine and I’d like to see some more of him in ROH, mainly on TV as a gatekeeper. I don’t want to see him pushed all that much, but he could put over guys like TJ Perkins in good matches or something. Ciampa is a cool guy, me having met him before. He is a good worker and a good talker, so I hope he gets a new character.

Man, ROH is doing a shitty job of streaming this iPPV. Take in mind, my download is the PPV stream. They couldn’t get the replay up. Best in the World was absolutely fine when it came to stuff like this. Final Battle doesn’t have the same fortune, I guess.

Post-Match, Rave gets a standing ovation. I really wish he could have gotten more time, but oh well!

ROH TV Title: Mike Bennett (w/ Maria Kanellis & Brutal Bob) vs. El Generico vs. Jay Lethal

I still don’t like Mike Bennett, even though he works his ass off to get better. That’s all you can ask for. He comes out with Maria, his real-life girlfriend, and MOTHERFUCKER SHE IS HOTTER THAN HELL TONIGHT. I love that woman, you know. Brutal Bob doesn’t exactly match her on the “easy-on-the-eyes” criteria. HAHAHAHA A BIG CM PUNK CHANT!~! Man, that made my day. Bennett plays to the crowd, saying “Who?” and he frenches Maria. You bitch. “Fuck you Bennett” says the crowd. I don’t like Bennett’s in ring work too much, but he has good charisma and don’t be surprised if you see him in the WWE in a couple years. I’m still angry ROH hotshotted the TV belt from Generico to Lethal, because Lethal didn’t really do anything to deserve it, and Generico worked his ass off for ROH. But I can’t control that, and at least it went to Lethal and not Bennett. I do like Lethal but I haven’t enjoyed him as much in ROH as I did in TNA.

Kevin Kelly gets on my bad side once more by comparing Bennett to Tebow using the analogy, “He’s so good, but so hated.” Damn it, Kevin, you haven’t gotten on my nerves tonight and do not start now, fella. Especially since I’ve dealt with Michael Cole for a while now. Please, Kevin? Good, bitch.

Bennett does not follow the Code of Honor. Another CM Punk chant! Man, that kills me. Bennett bails to the outside as the bell rings and tells the two to fight. Generico and Lethal circle, but Bennett comes in and cheapshots Lethal, who chases after him. Generico holds him back. Bennett comes back in and cheapshots Generico this time, and Lethal has to hold him back. Generico and Lethal tie up but Generico breaks and they both go to the outside and double team Bennett. Back in the ring, they trade turns with him. I want a turn with Maria. BOING. They send Bennett outside. Generico and Lethal argue over who will dive onto the Prodigy first and instead they compromise and do stereo suicidas through the second rope. Generico and Lethal tie up, and Lethal gets a headlock and a shoulder block. He rolls Generico up for two, and hits a headscissors for another two count. Lethal gets a hiptoss and a dropkick for another two count. Generico has his head bounced off the top turnbuckle. Lethal whips Generico back into the corner, but Lethal is sent to the outside. Bennett comes back and drops him face first into the ring frame. Back in the ring, Bennett starts working Generico over. He hits a scoop slam for a two count. WHAT A MANUEVER. Generico comes back with a forearm, but Bennett comes back with a right hand. Bennett runs the ropes, looking for a move, but Generico pulls the rope down to send him over. Generico looks for a tope, but Lethal catches him on the run with a springboard dropkick. Lethal locks in a submission, a Texas Cloverleaf/Surfboad is the best name I can give it. Lethal breaks it after the referee almost counts him down. Bennett comes back in and disposes of Generico and hits an avalanche in the corner to Lethal. Bennett heads to the apron and Lethal hits a springboard dropkick, but right after that, Generico comes back and hits a crossbody to the back of Lethal for a two count. Generico and Lethal go at it for a bit Bennett comes back in and Generico gets nine punches in the corner, but Bennett counters. Lethal comes back with a kick to Bennett. He mounts Generico on top of Lethal, who kicks. Bennett gets to his knees and eats a kick to the face. Generico comes back and hits an Exploder into the turnbuckle. Bennett distracts Generico, so Generico comes out and punches Brutal Bob out, dodges Maria, but Bennett punches Generico out. Back in the ring, Bennett hits a powerslam and a TKO on Generico. Bennett hits a Snake Eyes on Lethal, and goes to the opposite corner. He eats a Yakuza kick from Generico however and they are all three down. Generico and Lethal slug it out in the ring until Lethal hits the Lethal Combination for 2. Bennett comes in and gets a waistlock on Lethal. Lethal reverses, runs the ropes, but Bennett hits a spinebuster for a two count. Generico hits an unexpecting Bennett with a Michinoku Driver for two. Lethal comes back in and kicks Generico right in the mush. He goes up top looking for a Lethal Injection, but Generico knocks him off with a Yakuza kick. Generico goes rope to rope and hits a tope on Lethal! He dives onto Bennett too! Back in the ring, Generico runs amok over Bennett and hits a beautiful Half Nelson suplex! One, two, thr—NO! Awesome nearfall. Lethal comes in  and hits a neckbreaker and looks for a Lethal Injection. Lethal poses and hits it! One, two, thr—NO! Good nearfall there too! Generico dives up and looks for a turnbuckle brainbuster, but Bennett rolls Generico up for a three count! GENERICO IS ELIMINATED. Damn. Not even a few seconds later, Lethal hits a great looking handspring Cutter for the three count at 18 minutes!

Post match, Generico and Lethal have a classy embrace in the middle of the ring.

Analysis: ***1/4 Generico single handedly saved this match from sucking. Lethal did a good job, don’t get me wrong, but everything Bennett did was too simplistic for what his other two opponents were doing, so he looked like the weakest link. Bennett tried, and he had a hot, HOT chick on the outside to cheer him on, but tits and ass aren’t enough for Bennett to look good in a wrestling match. Generico was on FIRE here and should have won, but as long as Bennett didn’t win, I’ll be alright. I know it seems like blind hate, but I just think Generico (& Lethal for that matter) deserves it a hell of a lot more than Bennett right now. Bennett has a hell of a lot of potential, and with some more work he will be perfectly serviceable in the ring. Baby steps, Mike, baby steps.

No DQ Match: Steve Corino vs. Kevin Steen, w/ Special Referee Jimmy Jacobs

This is the blowoff of the storyline of the year. Steve Corino basically created the evil Steen that ran like hell over ROH in 2010, so he came into 2011 trying to redeem himself. He did so and gained the trust of everyone back eventually, but Kevin Steen came back and fucked his shit up. Steen came back at Best in the World supposedly looking to do what Corino had done, but instead package piledrove Corino and became the anti-hero we see before us today. After that, ROH kicked the story into overdrive, not mentioning Kevin Steen ANYWHERE. His name would be starred out on the defunct ROH message boards (and they were shut down after Steen “hacked” it) and the TV show had no mention of him until the back part of the storyline kicked in. At Death Before Dishonor IX, Steen came back again and cut a scathing promo on Corino until his mic was cut off. He tried to piledrive Cary Silken, but former rival/partner El Generico came out and stopped that. They had a pull apart brawl before that was stopped as well. Steen also made an appearance at Glory by Honor X, cutting a promo on a children’s swingset about how fucked up ROH is and whatnot for not letting him in. Then, on ROH TV, Steen was threatening to sue ROH if he was not let back into the company. So in came Corino and Cornette. Corino offered Steen a settlement: he would face Steen at Final Battle in a No DQ match, with Jimmy Jacobs as the ref. Steen would be reinstated if he won, and would be banished from ROH forever. Kevin Steen accepted and requested that Cornette and Silken be at ringside to witness Steen’s reinstatement firsthand. Corino proclaimed himself an evil person for one more night, and had a pull apart brawl. Keep in mind, if Kevin Steen wins, he’s back in ROH.

Corino has dyed his hair his old blonde from ECW for this match. The crowd is hotter for this match than  any other match, and rightfully so. Loud “Kill, Steen, Kill” chant from the crowd. Jacobs refuses a hug from Steen and the bell rings. They start slugging it out and Steen starts to take control. Corino whips Steen into the ropes and hits a dropkick. Steen bails out, and Corino follows. Steen runs Corino into the barricade and the ring post. He sets him on the apron and hits a sick looking Cannonball!  Corino jumps Steen from behind with a dive from the apron. Corino picks one up and hits Steen with the chair in the corner. Corino looks to do it again, but Steen superkicks the chair into Steve’s face. Steen hits a nice powerbomb on the apron outside, and follows up with a nice frog splash. Steen goes by the stage and gets a guardrail and drills Corino in the head with it. Corino slides in the ring, grabs a chair and walks away. Steen goes after Corino but Corino stops him. Corino mounts the chair on the guardrail sideways and looks for a powerbomb, but Steen reverses and powerbombs him on the chair! Sick. Steen says hello to Nigel McGuinness and goes for a table. Kevin Kelly makes a wonderful comparison to Brian Pillman from Kevin Steen. Spot on, Hermie, spot on. Steen sets the table up on the outside, mount it on the apron and guardrail. Cornette flips Steen looks for a powerbomb through the table on the outside, but Corino knocks Steen down with a lariat. Corino goes to the outside to get the trashcan they put the streamers in. He throws it, along with some more chairs into the ring. Corino looks to hit Steen with the garbage can lid, but Steen takes it away and nails Corino in the head with it. Steen fucks with Cornette a bit and licks Corino’s blood off his head! It looks like Corino is bleeding hardway, above the ear. Steen looks to hit Corino in the head with the garbage can, but Corino hits a low blow and does it himself a couple times. Corino suplexes Steen onto the garbage can, henceforth crushing it. Corino puts the chairs into a pile and slams Steen on them. Corino comes off the top rope for an Awesome Splash for a two count. He sits the chairs upright. This doesn’t look good. And just as I type that, Nigel says it. You fucking Brit. Just kidding. Corino sets up the guardrail on the steel chairs. Steen takes control but Corino counters and goes up top, and HITS A FUCKING SUPERPLEX ON THE GUARDRAIL! My God, that was so brutal. One, two, thr—NO!!! Wow. Steen rolls out on the table to rest, but Corino is looking for some more weapons. Corino gives up and looks to splash Steen through the table, but Kevin comes up and knocks him down. Steen enters the ring and picks up a chair. He goes to the outside and waffles Corino on the back with it. Steen goes all insane and sets up chairs on the table on the outside. This looks a bit dangerous Kevin. He looks to superplex Corino onto in, but Corino foils that, whacks Steen in the head with the garbage lid. Steen falls off through the chairs and tables!! “We want fire” chants...what a retarded chant. After Corino gets some more chairs, he rolls Steen back in to get a nice nearfall. Jimmy Jacobs gets the guardrail out of the ring. Corino picks up a chair and sets it on Steen. Steen sits up, but Corino comes back at him with a chair to the chair that Steen is holding for a two count. Corino looks for a suplex on an upright chair, but Steen reverses into an exploder. Steen picks Corino up and hits a BRUTAL exploder on the chair! One, two, thr—NO!!  Steen picks up a chair and looks to hit Corino. Corino sacrifices himself by spitting in Steen’s face. BAM. It didn’t really hit Corino’s head, so it wasn’t a terrible unprotected shot. Jimmy Jacobs takes the chair away as Corino regroups and hits Steen with a roll of quarters for two. Corino sets up the chairs 2x2, upright. Corino looks for a piledriver, but Steen reverses and HITS A PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIRS!!! ONE…TWO…Jacobs hesitates…THREE! Wow.

Post match, Steen gets on the mic. Merry Christmas, the devil is back. Jimmy boy, I came here tonight for number one, to destroy Steve Corino check. And number two…[package piledrives Jimmy Jacobs]

Cornette looks to be number three, but EL GENERICO COMES OUT!! THEY BRAWL IN THE STREAMERS! GENERICO HITS A YAKUZA KICK! He looks for a Yakuza kick in the corner, but Steen avoids it, hits a low blow, and HITS A PACKAGE PILEDRIVER ON GENERICO THROUGH THE TIMEKEEPER’S TABLE! Wow. What an awesome, awesome segment. Kevin Kelly does a good job of selling the devastation of the announcers, calling Steen a son of a bitch. Win me over, Hermie. You can do it. Nigel McGuinness checks on Generico as we segue into intermission.

Analysis: ***3/4 It was a great brawl. Those idiots who refuse to rate this match need to realize the unprotected shots in this match were not hard shots, and the one huge chairshot that Steen threw did not make full contact with Corino’s head. Soft shots that are unprotected do not hurt the competitors and do not cause long term damage. Sorry, but it’s true. Corino and Steen protected each other enough to where there were no serious injuries and the spots (maybe except for the guardrail spot) weren’t over the top. So people need to stop throwing hissy fits about this match. It conveyed the importance that Steen CANNOT stay in ROH well, especially with the commentary of McGuinness and Kelly selling worry. They went all out in an attempt to destroy each other, and that was what this match needed to be. This match could not be tame because the story had been built up so much that no one could tolerate this being a tame match. They did exactly what they needed to do and no one got hurt. It was a safe, but emotional and wild brawl that lived up to the hype. Corino brought the bump taking, Steen brought the insanity, and the crowd behaved exactly like they were forecasted to. You can’t ask for a better spectacle for this, capping off the best storyline of the year and starting the Kevin Steen era in ROH. And Generico coming out was the icing on the cake. Track this down, fella!

Intermission is basically a video package fest. Also, I must say that this was a great place for intermission because nothing could follow that match.

Tag Team Gauntlet Match…Match One: The Bravados vs. C&C Wrestle Factory

I will not rate these matches individually, but will treat each match as one of their own. I will rate the gauntlet as a whole after it is finished. Not familiar with the Bravados all that much, but I’ve seen Caprice Coleman’s promo work, and he’s fucking talented on the stick.

The Bravados pearl harbor C&C before the bell rings. They throw Cedric Alexander in the ring, but he comes right back out with a nice senton plancha. Cedric throws Lancelot Bravado in the ring and they double team him. Coleman hits a suplex and Alexander hits a tope atomico for two. Alexander is tagged in and Lance reverses and whips Coleman to the outside. Harlem on the outside hits a bicycle kick to Coleman. Double team to Alexander on the inside for a two count. Lancelot runs Alexander into the corner and plays to the crowd and hits a corner clothesline, then a side slam for two. Lancelot tags in Harlem and they hit a double elbow for a two count. Coleman comes back in but gets tossed out quickly. Alexander hits an enziguiri on Lancelot and Coleman takes him out and then hits a flying clothesline, then a SICK Asai moonsault to Lancelot on the outside. Alexander hits a forearm but Harlem locks in a headlock. Alexander drops him with a boot. Harlem counters a suplex with a small package, but Alexander falls on top for a rollup three count at 5 minutes. BRAVADOS ARE ELIMINATED. Really disjointed segment there, but it was short and inoffensive.

Match Two: Future Shock vs. C&C Wrestle Factory

I haven’t seen an extended Future Shock match except for their match with the Young Bucks at PWG Steen Wolf, which would have been Match of the Night if not for the five star Steenerico ladder match.

Alexander and Kyle O Reilly trade forearms, but Kyle takes him down with a running kick for two. He tags in Adam Cole and they hit a swift double kick. Cover gets two. Tag into Kyle, but Alexander chops off. Double bulldog for a close nearfall. Blind tag from Caprice Coleman. Nice double team Hart Attack with a leg lariat. Coleman hits a dropkick on O Reilly for two. Blind tag from Adam Cole who gets a two count on a Northern Lights Suplex. Cole hits a slick running dropkick to the back for another two count. Tag into O Reilly, who hits a side backbreaker and a knee drop to the back for two. Tag into Adam Cole who hits a scoop slam for two. Tag into O Reilly, but Coleman hits a double dropkick on both. Tag to Alexander who hits clotheslines to both. O Reilly hits a boot to the gut, but Alexander hits a kick to the face. Double stomp/backbreaker by C&C and Coleman hits a nice Frankensteiner. Alexander hits a frog splash for two. Kyle hangs Alexander from the tree of woe and Future Shock hits a double dropkick to the face. Ride the Lightning (superkick then Total Elimination) gets a three count at six minutes. C&C WRESTLE FACTORY ARE ELIMINATED.

Match Three: Young Bucks vs. Future Shock

The Young Bucks kick ass. That is all.

The Bucks pose on the floor, but O Reilly kicks them to the ground on the outside. Vaulting body splash on both Matt and Nick Jackson, but they catch him. Cole saves his partner’s ass with a tope. Nick hits a superkick that knocks Kyle off the apron and they hit an assisted Sliced Bread #2 on the apron knocks Cole stupid. Nick hits a springboard frog splash in the ring for two on Cole. Tag in to Matt, and the Bucks nail a double team cutter for two. Matt tries to steal Chris Jericho’s cocky pin, and in the process looks like a dumbass. Matt tags Nick back in. Really slow start to this portion, as the usually rowdy NYC crowd is dead as a doornail except for a year idiotic hecklers. Matt Jackson even puts on a chinlock. What the shit? These two wrestled at Steen Wolf in a balls-to-the-wall match that nearly stole the show. Nick Jackson flies out through the second rope onto O’Reilly after hitting a double stomp on Cole. That gets a two count, and the Young Bucks trade tags. Cole flips out of some moves and tags Kyle in, who nails a double dragon screw, and a belly-to-belly suplex. O’Reilly then nails NINE butterfly suplexes, tags in Cole, who hits a wheelbarrow suplex on Matt for two. Nick hits a fucking beautiful slingshot X Factor, as Cole nails Matt with a german suplex on the ring frame. O’Reilly looks for a running dropkick to a seated Nick, but Nick moves. Back in the ring, The Bucks hit More Bang For Your Buck to advance at 8 minutes.

Match Four: Young Bucks vs. All Night Express

Kenny King should have won WWE Tough Enough II. Fuck WWE and fuck Al Snow. Just kidding. Maybe.

The teams start brawling on the outside. There are a lot of hecklers in the crowd that are fucking stupid. You never see that in New York, and I hope those obvious lifeless virgins fuck themselves. Harsh, yes. Warranted, yes. Rhett Titus is favoring his knee on the outside. Nick toys with King in the ring. Man, this is boring. Rinse and repeat with Matt now, but King tries a comeback. Neckbreaker by Nick gets two. Nick toys with King again. God damn it, do something. You’re dragging this whole thing down, guys. King comes back with a capture suplex. Titus is in his corner now! Tag in to Rhett, who cleans house on his very injured knee. Matt Jackson falls prey to a Low Down bomb, but they quickly turn the tide. Kenny King comes back and hits Coronation, but Matt nails him with a DDT on the apron. Titus hits Nick with a sick lariat in the ring, but Nick comes in with a chop block before he can follow through. They go to work on the knee. Nick nails a 450 splash and the referee stops the match at 6 minutes.

Post match: The Bucks don’t stop attacking ANX

OVERALL MATCH TIME: 29:36

Analysis: ** Damn, this sucked. Well, it didn’t suck, per se, but it was supremely boring. Nothing was very exciting, and the portions that had the potential to be exciting turned out to be a damp squib. I mean, Future Shock and the Bucks could have woken the crowd up from their sleep, but they just went through the motions and made nothing of what could have been a sick, action packed segment. The first few segments showed some promise, mainly because of Coleman and Alexander, who are very, very good. And even though I like Future Shock, I just can’t understand why they seemed so damn unmotivated tonight. At Final Battle 2010, they nearly stole the entire show against ANX (in the opener, no less) and here just did their job lethargically and went home. The Young Bucks didn’t look to give much of a crap either, but you can’t exactly be motivated for awesomeness with the crowd is sitting on their hands so much that they’re getting rashes. ANX had a reason to be a little lacking, and Kenny King tried with his comebacks, but this audience just wasn’t buying it. The hecklers in the crowd really ruined a lot of this match too. As a whole package, nothing you really need to spend thirty minutes of your life on. It’s not offensively bad, but I can’t find one real reason to recommend it. Also, if you want to see Future Shock and Young Bucks kick ass, watch their ****+ match at PWG Steen Wolf. It was a tag team clinic, probably one of the best tag matches of the year.

Roderick Strong comes out to call out anyone who wants to face him in his Invitational Challenge. This guy gets such a bad rap, but he really is an awesome wrestler who can work a variety of styles. His promo here was really good, and if I’m being honest he showed a shit ton more charisma and promo skills than either Davey Richards or Eddie Edwards have shown during the Sinclair TV era, barring the Best in the World ending. Truth Martini counts to ten, and has some funny-as-hell ad libs in between numbers. Music plays, AND HERE’S CHRIS HERO!! Damn, I love that man. This would prove to be his second-to-last ROH appearance, as he just signed with WWE after some medical issues.

Roderick Strong vs. Chris Hero

Roderick bails to the outside to start. Back in, Hero knocks Strong down with a shoulderblock. Hero goes to work with chops in the corner. I’m still elated after all these years that Hero doesn’t have that atrocious gut he had all those years ago. Hero boots Strong to the outside, but Martini nails Hero with his book on the outside. Strong works Hero over in the ring with stomps. Roderick foils a Roaring Elbow by shoving Hero in the corner. Also, on an unrelated side note, Nigel McGuinness kicks so much ass at commentary. His insight and wit makes any shitty match (see tag gauntlet) a little better. And Hermie hasn’t been a pain in the ass tonight. If only Lenny Leonard were around. Hell, I could still deal with Jimmy Bower. Hero dropkicks Strong to the outside. Roddy runs Hero into the barricade on the outside however, and hauls him back in the ring to get a two count. Hero is up and they trade forearms, and Hero meets Strong halfway off the ropes with a dropkick. Hero walks right through a chop and just elbows the piss out of Roderick, who then falls prey to a powerslam. Roddy moves out of the way of a running dive. Hero hits a Snapmare suplex off the top for a two count. Roderick comes back with a jumping knee for a nearfall. Roderick hits a very nice backbreaker onto the top turnbuckle for a nearfall. Hero kicks Roderick off of a Stronghold and hits a Cravat (?) suplex. It’s that Snapmare suplex I mentioned above. Hero nails an elbow for a two count. Roderick hits a fireman’s carry lungblower then nails a Gibson Driver! One, two, thr—no! Good nearfall. The two trade chops on the middle of the ring. I wouldn’t wanna take those; I’d probably be crying like a little bitch. Chris Hero rolls out of an Irish whip attempt and NAILS A ROARING ELBOW! ANOTHER ONE! SPIN KICK! ONE, TWO, THR—NO! Damn, I thought that was it. Truth Martini distracts Hero on another pin attempt, and Hero’s all like YOU FUCKING HOMO and chases him down. Back in the ring, Roderick rolls him up for two. Hero kicks Strong into Martini and comes off the ropes. Roderick moves and Hero ends up kicking Martini. Strong takes the distraction to heart and nails the Sick Kick for the three count at 17 minutes.

This crowd pisses me off by giving a very shitty standing ovation to a very game Hero.

Analysis: ***1/2 Fun match here. They didn’t try to do anything very fancy, and that worked. They told a good story in the match as well. Hero hadn’t wrestled since August or so (in the ROH world anyway) and was rusty. Roderick had been wrestling an 80 minute match not even a month beforehand, and had been wrestling all over the world, so he had the psychological advantage. It’s a simple yet effective story, and it sufficed in this case. Hero looked great, he didn’t botch, and brought this poor excuse of a crowd alive. With the proper reaction, you have to imagine that this match could have encroached upon four star territory. But it’s a really good match as is, and if you want to see Chris Hero’s last PPV appearance for ROH, this was a suitable send off to one of the best wrestlers to ever step foot into the ring. Strong showed his doubters here that he has charisma and shows a little bit more passion in his promos (more than likely from working with Martini) than the two top ROH wrestlers do, which alarms me and makes me happy at the same time.

ROH Tag Title Match: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team © vs. The Briscoe Brothers

Dem Boys (or your Gods) get the biggest pop of the night so far, barring Kevin Steen. WGTT? Ha, not so much. They’ve been dogging it on TV pretty blatantly, and I don’t like that. I get it, both guys are approaching 40, blah-blah, but if you can be such a great addition to the roster just months earlier, why the dick can’t you buck up when ROH needs it? Their match with Coleman & Alexander on TV was atrocious and showed the lethargy (is that a word?) within the usually really good team. Dem Boys are so fucking awesome; my two favorite wrestlers at the moment. They have more personality than anyone on the roster not named Kevin Steen or Jim Cornette. Also, they’re absolute masters at tag team wrestling, probably the best tag team in terms of pure match quality (get their DVD on rohwrestling.com) since the Midnight Express.

The two teams start brawling right away, with no bell to officially start the match. The boos were louder for the champs during their ring intros. The champs start whipping the Briscoes with their belts. They all brawl on the outside. Man, Mark takes some vicious bumps. And to think the guy is only 26. And they bring out the chairs. A very hard unprotected shot hits Jay. Jesus fucking Christ. And they nail Mark with a hard one too. Really? You’re pushing it a bit here. Benjamin “hits” Jay on the back with a chair, but it just hits the mat. So you’re telling me you can feign that just fine, but you really have toi whack the guys on their head, knowing all of the repercussions. Listen, I know it’s continuity, but damn guys, do it safely. This is wrestling, not a street fight. There is no reason to hit a guy with a non-gimmicked chair, over his head with no protection. There weren’t any shots in Corino-Steen that were too hard to the head, and there were several sickening shots here. And there’s another fucking chairshot. C’mon. This is unsanitary. Look, I appreciate the risk these guys take for entertainment, but there’s a fine line between a wrestling move and a chairshot. No one cares to see a guy get whacked with a blunt, metal object unless they’re an ignorant ultraviolent fan. I know I’m ranting here, but considering what has happened to some wrestlers over the years with head injuries, you just can’t do that in 2012. Nigel McGuinness is blatantly disgusted on commentary, audibly saying “god damn it” after a chair shot. This guy has had so many concussions, he can’t count them. He’s gone on record saying he’s suffered memory loss, spontaneous headaches, etc, and if anyone around this environment knows about it, it’s Nigel. I’m okay with a chair shot to the head if it’s either a) protected or b) soft. But the way Haas and Benjamin were swinging these chairs, carelessly at two young, shining wrestlers’ heads (and it is partially their fault for not covering up), is just inexcusable, especially considering Mark has an extensive history with concussions. I could stand to never see something like this in wrestling (at least from here on) ever again. This was disgusting. Okay, pissy rant over. Onto what’s left of this match. Benjamin fucks up his signature move, the Broken Arrow. Hammerstein Ballroom lets him hear about that one.

Charlie plays to the crowd well, as they have turned on him. Mark starts to fight back, but Shelton nails a DDT. They look for a Broken Arrow again, but Jay Briscoe slides in and nails a superkick! Damn, Jay looks like a man possessed with the blade job he has. They exchange blows like a house on fire, but Benjamin starts to take control. He hits a splash, but he injures his ribs some more. Remember, his ribs were injured on a chairshot. Kayfabe of course. The Briscoes go to work on his ribs in a methodical pace. They don’t do very much, selling that this isn’t a time to be all flashy and whatnot. They make frequent tags, but don’t make very impactful moves. Benjamin finally tags in Haas, who plays to the crowd while he mounts offense on the Briscoes. He hits an Exploder for two. He nails the three German suplex combo after fucking with the crowd a bit. You told them, Charlie. Charlie seems pretty comfortable working as a heel. After more WGTT offense, Mark Briscoe inadvertently takes out Shelton by splashing on him. He was trying to break up a Haas of Pain locked in by Haas, but Shelton’s like no way bitch and comes in. So Mark comes in and tries to break it, but Shelton tries to intercept him and instead ends up with more injured ribs. You silly man. Paul Turner calls out some paramedics to help with Shelton and his rib problems as the Briscoes beat some Charlie ass in the ring. Shelton heads to the back. Oh, what a peril for you, Mr. Haas. The crowd has died now. The Briscoes pretty much have their way with Charlie, until he foils a double team and nails an Angle Slam on Jay. During that move, they wipe out Paul Turner. Here comes Shelton crawling back! He picks up an obviously gimmicked 2x4 and nails Mark with it. They start working Jay over with the pieces left of the 2x4. WGTT looks for a Doomsday Device, but Mark nails a top rope bound Benjamin with a broken piece of table. The Briscoes then hit the Doomsday Device for the win at 13 minutes. In doing so, they also win their 7^th tag titles.

The crowd throws streamers at the Briscoes, happy that they took the titles off of Haas and Benjamin. I can’t say I’m not happy, but we’ll see where this heads.

Analysis: ** Well, they tried I guess. It wasn’t a good match though. First off, throughout the whole match you still had the stench of the chairshots, which probably shouldn’t affect the match. But the match had it’s faults as well. WGTT didn’t look crisp whatsoever here, including botching their signature move badly, and looking pretty lethargic, outside of a couple good spots with Haas being a heel. The Briscoes looked good, as usual, but they didn’t click with WGTT in this match, at least not like they did at the 9^th Anniversary Show last year. Lacklustre match, lacklustre segment, marred heavily by the stupid chairshots.

As we stall in the graphics department, the crowd almost makes me forgive them with a totally-out-of-the-blue FRUITY PEBBLES chant. That one had me rolling.

ROH World Title Match: Davey Richards (w/ Team Richards) vs. Eddie Edwards (w/ Dan Severn)

Okay, let me tell you why I haven’t enjoyed this feud. First off, while they are exquisite wrestlers, neither Eddie nor Davey have the charisma to handle what should be an emotional angle. They’re faces spoke for them, and they were motionless a lot of the time. You can’t sell an angle like this by running through your lines. I love Eddie, I love Davey, but they lack a lot of character in their promos, and their angles usually suffer due to it. However, what I can’t understand about all of this is why the beginning of their feud (around Manhattan Mayhem) contained a lot of good stuff, but on TV, where they need to shine the most, the fall flat and the angle goes by in slow motion. The wrestling is fine, of course, but that’s not all you do in this business. You have to show a passion in your storylines, which they didn’t do after their classic at Best in the World. Hell, Kyle O’Reilly showed more passion in his quotes/promos for the feud than either Davey or Eddie. And second off, this whole MMA/American strong style + fighting spirit thing just needs to go. Davey likes to just get up right in the middle of a heated segment, and it’s terrible. He ruins the momentum of a match, and that happens a lot in ROH nowadays. This whole MMA tie-in with “training teams” and whatnot, it sounds good on paper, but the way ROH tries to sell it is very campy and very hokey. Jim Cornette looked like he didn’t give a dick during his segments in the feud, and it was probably because feuds should not base around this stuff. MMA has it’s place, and that’s in MMA promotions. I’m okay with taking stuff from MMA like EVOLVE does, but ROH does it in a criminally campy way and it makes some of the Davey Richards stuff hard to watch. I hope I see good selling in this match, a good story being told, and heated action because that’s what Best in the World gave us and look how heralded that match has been. So onto our main event!

Davey comes out like a house on fire. They do the GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! thirty seconds in. They wrestle for a bit and another GENERIC INDY STANDOFF!~! Two within a minute and a half. Oh, fuck you two. Davey dominates early, showing why he’s champ. His striking and wrestling overpower Eddie early. Eddie eventually comes back with various submissions, including a chinlock early. You may notice I’m sparing some play-by-play, but please know I am not doing this out of laziness. I’m looking to analyze this match more than any of the others on this show. Davey puts in a Liontamer/Texas cloverleaf, but Eddie gets to the ropes. They head to the outside, where they exchange chops. Back in the ring, Eddie goes to work with more submissions, working on the champ’s leg. Davey gets out and nails a Murderdeathkill kick from the apron, then hitting a tope. Back in the ring, Davey takes control. Davey isn’t selling his leg one bit. Davey rolls through an Edwards reversal and puts in an Ankle Lock. Edwards rolls out and puts in an Achilles lock. Eddie takes control now. Eddie fires Davey up with rapid chops, and they trade strikes in the middle of the ring. Eddie hits an Asai moonsault to the outside, but whacks his leg on the guardrail, kind of like he did in June. But of course, he doesn’t sell it like he sold his leg at Best in the World. Eddie puts in an STF, then an Ankle Lock. Eddie just gets pissed and stomps the piss out of Davey’s face. Davey just pops up and they exchange more strikes. Davey no sells a superkick and hits a lariat for two. Eddie no sells that and pops up, eating another lariat. Davey nails a double stomp, a running kick, and another double stomp for a two count. This lack of selling is ruining the match for me, honestly. They fight it out, and they eventually head to the top, where they exchange headbutts. Nothing was really gained from this until Davey hits an enzugiri. Davey nails a superplex, rolls through, but Eddie fucking no-sells again and they both tumble over the ropes from a suplex. Goddamn, sell at least a little bit. They stalled for a litte while, milking the count, but they re-enter at 19.. Back in the ring, they exchange strikes some more, but Eddie stands out by taunting Davey with a bitch slap. Davey responds by kicking the piss out of Eddie. We’re back in the center of the ring, where Davey is bitch slapped once more. Eddie shows no emotion in this match, while Davey’s facial expressions help him. Hmmm. I don’t quite know about this one. Davey fucking no-sells two backdrop drivers and pops up, hits one of his own. Davey then no-sells a Tiger Suplex, hitting a Dragon Suplex. They trade slaps. The House of Truth heads down to the ring as Eddie knocks Davey retarded with a knee. Roderick Strong bitches out Team Richards, but Dan Severn intervenes and takes Truth Martini to the back after attacking Strong and Elgin with some crappy uppercuts. Everyone disappears from ringside. Davey and Eddie are up once more, and they stare each other down before trading strikes. Eddie nearly kills Davey by Tiger Suplexing him into the turnbuckles. Davey looks like Eddie knocked him on Queer Street. Eddie is looking for a super Tiger Suplex, but Davey breaks. Eddie comes back with a sick Frankensteiner, which of course DAVEY DOESN’T FUCKING SELL. Eddie hits a powerbomb for two. Eddie puts in a Dragon Sleeper, but Davey rolls over for a cradle! One, two, no. Eddie hits a tombstone piledriver, then hits Die Hard! One, two, no! “This is awesome” chant, which is pretty beyond the truth right now. Eddie puts Davey up top, but Davey tries to hit a sunset powerbomb. Eddie sandbags, so Davey goes after the leg that Eddie injured, but didn’t sell. I’m sick of the no-selling in this match, which isn’t bad other than that. Davey nails a super dragon suplex! One, two, no. I should be super-excited, but they’ve totally gotten me out of this match. Of course I’m bitching and moaning about it. That’s who I am, people. Davey tosses Eddie out to the floor with a seemingly botched Exploder. Looks like Eddie hurt his chest somehow. Eddie gets in at nineteen, but Davey hits a dragon suplex on the ring frame! This is finally starting to get pretty decent. Eddie gets into the ring at nineteen once more. “This ends now” says Richards, stiff kick combo, one, two, NO! Wow, I thought that was it. Eddie cradles out of an ankle lock! One, two, no! Davey nails a a Murderdeathkill kick! One, two, no! STIFF KICK COMBO! Davey picks up the win at 41 minutes, retaining his title.

Analysis: **1/2 I can’t go to three stars in this one. They worked hard here, but having watched this match two times since initially doing the play-by-play, I still find a whole hell of a lot more flaws than their masterpiece at Best in the World. They didn’t come close to the emotion in that one, Eddie Edwards didn’t sell well with his facial expressions, and THE FUCKING SELLING. I’ve never seen a match with so much disregard for the moves. They dropped each other on their heads, but they both just popped right up. I know this is independent wrestling, and I’m cool with one or two instances of that stuff, but I counted about 7-8 throughout the match. That is just stupid, and it doesn’t make the match look more competitive. No one just gets dropped on their head and pops up. Do you think Bret Hart would take a dragon suplex on his neck and just pop right up to hit his five moves of doom? Fuck no he wouldn’t, because he had a grip on in-ring psychology. It’s obvious these two threw Wrestling 101 out the window and just traded moves. Eddie didn’t sell his leg one bit during this match, even though it had blatantly waffled with barricade. He did the exact same thing in June, and sold the leg wonderfully. Here? An afterthought. I know these two are better than what they turned out here. I’ve seen people rate this as high as four stars, but you have to suspend your belief a whole hell of a lot to think this was a great match. They popped up after moves that would finish most wrestlers. That’s not good wrestling. It’s lazy. Yeah, they worked hard and tried, which is what the rating is for. Plus, they got pretty exciting at the end, but couldn’t drag me back in all the way. Not a good main event, not one bit. Davey and Eddie have had two better matches than this, one on free TV and the match of the year at Best in the World. Watch those two, because this one sucked for all the build it was given.

Post match, Kevin Steen comes out and taunts Davey. “Merry Christmas, bitch.” Merry Christmas, Kevin, you fucking awesome person.

Rating:

I give Final Battle 2011 a 6 out of 10

Why?

Hmmm…I don’t know how to conclude this show. Nothing on it was horrendous, but there were a lot of matches that did not deliver that should have. On paper, the double main event should have made this one of the best shows of the year, but they both ended up being massively disappointing, with the former being marred by a retarded pre-match brawl and the latter being basically everything that’s wrong with indy wrestling. They worked hard, but their lack of selling and coherence throughout the match just ruined it for me. But, the best part of this iPPV involved Kevin Steen and Steve Corino, brawling up and down the ring with some sick spots and a wonderful story. They beat the FUCK out of each other and ushered in Steen in the best way possible. Generico pulled out nearly a one-man show, making the three-way-dance very exciting, although not winning the title he truly deserves. I’m still a little disappointed Steen put him out after the latter’s match, but their small brawl before the package piledriver—in the streamers—was epic. I’m also pissed that TJP-Elgin ended up being only 7 minutes because it was so great, that just an extra 7 minutes could have propelled it to four star status. Elgin is going to be a star. The tag gauntlet was very, very boring. There were no exciting factors there, and the knee injury angle with Titus doesn’t interest me at all. The best three matches save this show, but the two main events bring the whole show down. I recommend the three best matches (Elgin-TJP, TV Title 3-Way, and Corino-Steen) but nothing else. Thumbs in the middle, I guess you could say.

Like it? Hate it? Tell me. No, I’m kidding, you can’t hate me. Tell me what you like, or what you dislike. My rants here were solely my own opinion, which doesn’t matter so don’t get worked up, the 2 people who read my reviews. Thank you a lot for reading!